February 1st was a horrible grey rainy day and I sat beside my mum in her hospital bed listening to her breathing.
Three rapid breaths in and each exhale that followed sounded like a wounded animal, it was at times unbearable to hear. This was my mum the vibrant, hilarious, beautiful woman I had the pleasure of calling mum. No longer responsive just barely breathing.
She inhaled for the last time around 15:44 and, as I cradled her head in my hands her lungs expelled the last of the air, she still looked like mum just a very grey and peaceful version.
I stroked her hair and placed the palm of her still warm hand to my cheek to 'imprint' that feeling. I felt an incredible sense of sadness and I howled, followed shortly after by a true Victorian style pearl clutching sobbing.
It's hard to explain to someone how you feel in these moments of grief, even those who have experienced death will understand but I don't feel you can ever really know anothers pain as it is so personal to the individual.
So that was it there she was gone...
Three rapid breaths in and each exhale that followed sounded like a wounded animal, it was at times unbearable to hear. This was my mum the vibrant, hilarious, beautiful woman I had the pleasure of calling mum. No longer responsive just barely breathing.
She inhaled for the last time around 15:44 and, as I cradled her head in my hands her lungs expelled the last of the air, she still looked like mum just a very grey and peaceful version.
I stroked her hair and placed the palm of her still warm hand to my cheek to 'imprint' that feeling. I felt an incredible sense of sadness and I howled, followed shortly after by a true Victorian style pearl clutching sobbing.
It's hard to explain to someone how you feel in these moments of grief, even those who have experienced death will understand but I don't feel you can ever really know anothers pain as it is so personal to the individual.
So that was it there she was gone...
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